You are seeking strategies for your child for the appropriate release of energy, impulse control, independent thinking, self restraint, respect of peers and their space and property, appropriate compliance with generalized classroom rules, improved listening skills, respectful communication skills with peers and authority figures such as teachers and adults, and skills to lower and raise his level of alertness as required. Where do you start to meet all these needs?
What would this mean to you if you could help him to regulate at home and school, allowing him to calm, sit patiently, focus, follow instructions, make better choices rather than being led by others whilst in a heightened state, and communicate with reason and measured purpose with his teacher and his peers? Visualise how his quality of life would improve, his ability to learn, to problem solve, to connect to his peers, to make and reach goals in living into his best self. Together we can support your child to learn the ability to self-regulate and master the skills that you are seeking for your child to enable him to greatly improve his enjoyment of his days and the trajectory of his life.
I also relate to the quiet child, seemingly low in interest and ability due to their high anxiety in connecting to their peers, communicating with their teacher, experimenting with new activities and ideas. They are often overlooked in the class environment with an overworked teacher grateful for a compliant child, one less set of behavioural challenges to manage. But for you, your heart reaches out to your anxious, unheard, unseen child, hiding their brilliance and individuality in the shadow of their fear and anxiety. Your child may stand back and be hesitant to answer questions in class. She might stop talking and participating in group activities when an unfamiliar child joins the activity. Extremely soft spoken, she doesn’t assert rights with her peers. She shows interest in learning and participating in new classroom activities but will merely observe rather than volunteer or ask to join in, fearful of making mistakes. She avoids attention where possible. She is extremely compliant and obedient to class rules. Lacking in confidence, she avoids eye contact whilst speaking during social interaction. She avoids speaking and sits very still when singled out for attention with people she is uncomfortable with or doesn’t know well.
You may be concerned for her social growth, being left behind by friends, her failure to stick up for herself, her struggle to be seen and heard, her unfulfilled potential in her failure to take advantage of her opportunities, being overlooked, being bullied, not taking part in new activities, missing out on activities and learning that appeals to her, and not fitting in with peers. What difference would her ability to self-regulate in a classroom environment or out in the playground help her to interact with confidence, to thrive in the classroom, step boldly into new learning experiences, and connect socially to new friendships with courage and assertiveness, make to her life and stretching into her potential?
These are just 2 examples of children struggling with challenging behaviours that learning the skill of sensory regulation can help to manage their emotions, thrive in the school environment, socialise with confidence and enthusiasm, enjoy novel environments and embrace learning opportunities with eager interest. Your child’s struggles may be different, but like the parents of these children who struggle, your concerns for your child’s capable negotiation of obstacles and your dreams for them reaching their potential with optimism and ease are shared.
At Sensory Tuning, our sensory gym coach works with the child and their parent through a customized program of sensory play to identify their sensory sensitivities and to regulate through their sensory preferences to overcome their challenges with self-regulation of their emotions. The parent-child bond is strengthened with co-regulation and role modeling of self-regulation by the parent. Worksheets and guided steps to introduce self-regulation at school, the home and out in the community are provided for both the child and the parent to make this transition into daily life one of ease and enjoyment. Self-regulation isn’t hard; it’s a skill that children as young as 8 years of age can learn to manage in their daily life with the right support.
In the interim whilst the sensory gym is being set up, a 6-part video series on the 6 Steps to Sensory Regulation is currently being developed, to be rolled out in the coming weeks. Keep tuning into Facebook and this blog space for future announcements.
